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This Makes Me So Sad~~
All Children Are Beautiful I firmly believe this! Babies are perfect…full of all the possibilities in life. Full of hope. Full of love. Babies are proof of goodness. This video makes me so sad. How...
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Are You Waiting To Begin Living???
So many of us are waiting for the time to be right… Waiting for… The perfect job… The perfect marriage… Perfect health… Extra money… What are you waiting for? I have learned that the time will never be...
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Recipe for Disaster (Chapter 12)
Ingredients: 2 cups pain 1 cup denial 1 cup trauma 1 cup loss of future expectations Dash here and there of loneliness Sprinkled liberally with regret and youthful inexperience Recipe produces multiple...
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Letting Go~The Following Chapters~
The next part of the story… Is very difficult for me to tell. The events that follow are extremely painful for me to remember. I hate that the great memories of my past are tainted by what comes next....
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Jane’s Apartment!! 1989 (Chapter 13)
Jane… This is not us…but it could have been…she was my closest friend. Jane and I had been friends for several years, I don’t recall how or where we met. But I trusted her, completely. In fact, she...
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Finally~A Moment to Breathe 1989/1990 (Chapter 14)
Jane’s Apartment… Became my refuge. I could do whatever I wanted behind the closed, locked door. I could scream, cry, rage…as often as I needed. I could sleep away the daylight hours- -so I did not...
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Flood of Memories~Current 2013
This picture was in my Facebook News Feed today… (photo by the incredible Kim Burke, www.kdburkephotography.com) The photo was posted, along with a blog…Power of Prayer. What a wonderful young...
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Stuck In The Middle~1989/1990 (Chapter 15)
When there are three… The threesome of Jane, Larry and I had always revolved around me. I was the common denominator. I was friends with each of them before they met each other. In a threesome, someone...
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‘Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed.” ―...
The day of Larry and Jane’s date… Had finally arrived! I am not sure who was more excited about the upcoming dinner and a movie, Jane or me? Jane was flitting about the apartment, going through every...
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No Good Deed Goes Unpunished~1989 (Chapter 17)
I drove home after work… With my fingers and toes crossed. Having some time to myself was top priority. The apartment was dark as I pulled into the lot, holding my breath I unlocked the door…empty, the...
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Addiction is similar to Auto-Immune Disease~
In many ways… Until recently, I had no need to think about addiction. I had no feelings about it, I did not understand it, and I had no reason to. Until recently, I had no need to think about...
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The Three Musketeers Implode~1989 (Chapter 18)
Life was in turmoil, once again. Huge storm was brewing. Jane refused to let go of her bitterness towards Larry, which of course, bled over to me. Every chance she had she would insult, demean, and...
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A New Groove~1989 (Chapter 19)
As humans we adapt to our situation. No matter how strange or odd or mundane. When we enter into a change, at first it may seem intolerable. But as you live with the new pattern you adapt. At first it...
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“Bitterness is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.” ―...
Jane was waiting for the rat to die. I was unaware of this fact. I knew that she was hurt. In the beginning I empathized with her, a bit. But when days and weeks turned into a month, I no longer felt...
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Huge Wake Up Call~1989 (Chapter 21)
Extremely Awkward Next Morning… As it was I hardly slept. I lay awake feeling a gamut of emotions. I had no idea how or what to feel. Hoping that Larry would not want to talk about the “accidental...
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Love, Drugs and the Brain~1989 (Chapter 23)
“The frontal cortex, vital to judgment, shuts down when we fall in love.“ ( Quoted from: Crazy In Love) This may explain many of the decisions that I made, or did not make, in my life. It seemed that I...
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The Nightmares Have Returned~2013
When I began to write this series… I did it to let go. When I feel deep pain I “swallow” it up inside me. I don’t think about it, don’t allow myself to feel, I cover my head with the blankets, just...
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Treat And Then…The Trick!
For the last month… Things have been a bit busy. I have been putting in six day work weeks. (If my employers are reading this…I am extremely grateful to have a job that I can put in as many hours as...
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The Line Between Life And Death…
Is incredibly thin. It is unfathomable to me how one decision, one feeling, one action can make the line obsolete. One moment someone is here, on earth, and the next they are gone. Each day we pass...
View ArticleAre You Waiting To Begin Living???
I have learned that the time will never be perfect. Circumstances will never be perfect. The finances will not just appear. The weight will not be lost in a week. Perfect health may never come. The...
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